I've had problems with depression ever since I could remember.  I know I experienced a lot of it during my childhood, but didn't know it was "depression".  I just thought I was a "bad person". I didn't realize it had a name until I was in my 20s and was diagnosed with it.  No one in my family knew, although I think it was said that I was moody a lot.
I'm actually better now that I'm on antidepressants.  Before the meds, I was angry all the time and sarcastic.  I had all or nothing thinking.  I saw black or white, there was no gray.
I've been hospitalized several times, and have now decided that I don't want to be hospitalized anymore because of this stupid depression.  So I'm bound and determined to find out what will help me get this major depressive disorder into remission and stay there.
I was in the hospital last week for a week due to my severe depression.  It's not fun at all, especially when it's at the same hospital you work at and the other patients are patients you see or have to take care of when  you get out.  It was a very awkward and upsetting experience.
While I was in the hospital, the doctor took me off of my sleeping pills (Ambien) and my anxiety meds (Lorazepem).  That was pretty hard considering I'd been on both for about two years.  In four days I slept about seven hours.  I was stressed out, having anxiety attacks.  One night I just sobbed until I fell asleep due to pure exhaustion.  I was so frustrated that I couldn't just "make" my body sleep.  Fortunately, my body got out of the "withdrawal" stage and I am sleeping well with Neurontin (a nerve relaxant) and Hydroxyzine (an anti anxiety med that is not addictive).
So I was discharged Tuesday and back to work on Wednesday.  I've been doing research and trying to figure out how to combat this depression.  They switched my antidepressants from Cymbalta to Paxil and the Paxil seems to be working well.
I bought a Yoga DVD especially for depression and anxiety.  I bought a couple of Meditation CDs to learn to relax and be able to stop those racing thoughts I get when I'm in bed and trying to sleep.  I'd love to be able to go to sleep without the help of any medications.
I've been doing research and have found that diet has a lot to do with depression.  Being single, I've never been one to eat right.  It's no fun cooking if it's just you.  But studies have shown a Mediterranean diet actually helps lower depression symptoms, so I'm going to try it and see if it works.
I have a book I'm reading called "The Feeling Good Workbook" by David Burns.  It's based on Cognitive Therapy.  In short, it teaches you to rewire your brain so the negative distorted thoughts that I have can change into positive real thoughts and help with depression.  I've never had any self esteen and have always hated myself, and I believe that cognitive therapy will be beneficial for me.
I started seeing a therapist yesterday (A Long Way From Home).  She's Christian and we kind of clicked from the start.  She really got me to open up and her goal is to help me process any bad stuff so I can face it and let it go.  I'm scheduled to see her once a week for an hour for at least the next year.  I've never been in real intense therapy before, so we'll see how this goes, getting rid of all of the skeletons in my closet.
Well, I guess this is good for my first blog.  I'll continue to write as much as I can and keep up to date on what is working and what is not to combat depression.