Well, it's been a month since I posted last.  I wanted enough time to pass by so that I could see how things are working.
I'm still on my Mediterranean diet for the most part.  It's been interesting eating a lot more fruits and vegetables and not so much meat.  I still have a ways to go to be totally on this diet, but I think I'm doing well for a start.  I've been watching tv shows and reading books on this diet to get some more variety in my diet.
I'm walking about 2 1/2 miles a day several times a week.  I'm not walking as much as I like to, so this is something else I'd like to work on.  I do enjoy the feeling of finishing a walk and knowing that I got out in the sun and out of the house.  I try to walk 40 minutes a day and would eventually like to start jogging, but I need to make this a habit first.
I'm spending a lot more time out of the house than I did before my hospitalization and it feels like a whole new world has opened to me.  I'd been so intent on "protecting" myself by staying in my apartment that I didn't realize how fun it could be going out to a store, even if it is just to window shop.
I am still procrastinating a bit, especially with cleaning, writing, doing crafts etc.  But I'm reading about 5-6 books and watching shows on the Food Network to teach myself how to cook better.  I'm nervous about cleaning as I threw my back out last time I cleaned.  So I got one of the roomba (sp?) vacuums that vacuums the floor on it's own without humans.  I'm hoping this will help with the back problems.
I have noticed that I've tried to keep so busy so that I don't think about my problems, which isn't very productive, but I'm hoping once I learn more coping mechanisms from my therapist that should dissapate some.
I'm still on only 20mg of Paxil, the lowest dose of any anti-depressents in about 15 years, so I'm happy about that.  Strangely, the Gabapentin and Hydroxizine have been too high of doses and have been making me sleepy during the day.  I've gone from 300mg of Gabepentin and 50mg of Hydroxizine to 100mg of Gabapenting and 30mg of Hydroxizine and I'm still a little sleepy in the morning, so it needs tweaking, but I think I'm close to finding a happy medium so that I'm not sleepy during the day.
My therapy sessions have been good so far.  We're working on my work problems.  I explained to her what had been going on for the last week and she just couldn't believe the chaos and asked what in the world my boss was doing about any of this and just shook her head when I answered, "nothing".  The entire clinic is in this training to learn how to get along better.  It's fascinating, but we all have a long ways to go.  But it is making me more aware of the problems and what I can do to stop being a part of the problem and be a part of the solution.  I realize that I'm very much a perfectionist at work and demand that my co-workers be perfectionists, which isn't fair to them.  I'm trying to learn to let things go and still not see things so much in black and white and more of a gray area.
I still have a lot of anxiety, which has also been causing problems with sleep but I refuse to get back on Benzodiazepines.  I have a supplement called L-Theanine that I take when it's bad, but I don't take it a lot as it tends to make me drowsy.  Still trying to learn to cope with them.  I need to let things go, especially the things I can't control like what people think about me.  I've still got a long ways to go toward my mental health, but I think I'm finally on the right track.